Unlocking Freedom: The Life-Changing Power of Forgiveness

Apr 7

Forgiveness. It’s one of the hardest things we’re called to do, yet one of the most freeing gifts we can give ourselves. If you’ve ever been hurt, betrayed, or let down by someone you trusted, you know how easy it is to hold onto resentment. But here’s the truth: un-forgiveness doesn’t just affect the person who wronged you—it affects you. It can weigh you down, steal your joy, and keep you from living the full, abundant life God has planned for you.

This year, I’ve been walking out a personal mantra: love and unity. It’s been the lens through which I’ve viewed relationships, choices, and especially forgiveness. With the help of my spiritual coach, my Enneagram coach (yes, I have a whole coaching dream team—what can I say, I like a little feedback!), and a powerful little book called Let Them, I’ve learned that sometimes the most loving thing we can do is bless and release people. Not out of bitterness, but out of peace.

I’ve had my own battles with forgiveness, and let me tell you, it’s not always easy. There were moments I wanted to dig my heels in, prove my point, and hold on to the offense like a badge. But what I’ve learned is this: taking the high road—just like my dad always said—is not only the better route but there’s way less traffic up there anyway. When we choose to forgive, we release ourselves from the chains of bitterness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending the hurt never happened or saying it was okay. It simply means choosing to let go of the power that pain has over your life.

What Forgiveness Is (and What It’s Not)

One of the biggest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it means excusing what happened. But that’s not the case at all. Forgiveness doesn’t mean the harm done to you was okay, that the person shouldn’t be held accountable, or that you have to reconcile with them. Letting go doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you—it means choosing peace over pride, and love over control.

Instead, forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the weight of resentment. It’s about saying, “I refuse to let this define me. I refuse to let this keep me from living in peace.” It’s for you, not them. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us to “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

The Link Between Forgiveness and Health

Un-forgiveness is heavy. It weighs on our hearts, our minds, and even our bodies—leading to stress, anxiety, high blood pressure, and a weakened immune system. But forgiveness? That’s where freedom begins.

Studies show that when we choose to let go, we experience healthier relationships, a stronger sense of peace, lower stress, and even physical benefits like a healthier heart and immune system. The mind-body connection is real—when we release resentment, we make room for healing, joy, and a deeper connection with God.

And when we pursue forgiveness through the lens of love and unity, we start to see that it’s not about proving a point—it’s about protecting our peace. It’s about becoming people who reflect grace, even when it’s hard.

But here’s the hard truth: holding onto a grudge doesn’t just hurt the other person—it hurts you. It drains your energy, steals your joy, and can even keep you from fully stepping into the relationships and purpose God has for you.

How Do We Move Toward Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a journey, not a one-time decision. It’s something we may have to choose daily, especially if the hurt runs deep. The first step is understanding the value of forgiveness—not just for the other person, but for yourself. It’s important to acknowledge the hurt rather than bury it. It’s okay to feel pain, but don’t let it control you.

Even if the other person never apologizes, you can still choose to forgive because your healing isn’t dependent on their remorse. Seeking support from a counselor, mentor, or faith community can help you process the pain and gain the strength to move forward. And ultimately, releasing the power the situation holds over you—letting go and trusting God to bring healing—is what truly sets you free.

There’s something sacred about choosing peace when chaos is an option. When you let them go—and I mean truly let them—you’re making space for love and unity to lead instead of hurt and division. That’s where the growth is.

Why I Choose to Forgive

In my book, I share the real and raw moments behind the scenes—not just in my career but also in my personal life. One of the most painful chapters came in 2010 when Caleb confessed to multiple betrayals in our marriage. It was a season marked by heartbreak and deep, personal devastation. And yet, in the middle of that pain, something unexpected happened: I encountered a peace that only God could give.

I chose to forgive—not because it was easy, but because I believed in the power of grace, redemption, and the future we were still fighting for. That decision changed everything. Our marriage, our family, and our legacy are stronger today because of it. (For the full story, you’ll have to read the book!)

Forgiveness is never easy, but it is always worth it. When we forgive, we open our hearts to healing, peace, and the abundant life God calls us to live. So if you find yourself replaying the hurt, carrying anger into new situations, feeling weighed down by resentment, struggling with anxiety, or feeling distant from your faith… maybe it’s time to surrender it. Not for them, but for you. Because you deserve to live in freedom.

This is the beauty of love and unity—they call us higher. They help us see people, and even pain, through the eyes of grace. Forgiveness isn’t just a virtue—it’s a victory. And sometimes, it’s the quiet kind. The kind that happens when no one’s watching, but Heaven takes note.

You are meant to live a five-star life—full of joy, faith, and love. And forgiveness? It’s a key ingredient to getting there.

xo,